Fight night — Webber, Gillard and more…

The Fairfax press is reporting Mark Webber has returned to Australia to consider his future as the corrosive atmosphere within his Red Bull Formula One team hits an all-time low.

Too right.

With credit to Ewen Hill, the only proper way to settle this is to throw them on Q&A, refereed by Tony Jones, and let the best person win.

Mark Webber versus Sebastian Vettel

To spice things up, the undercard could look like…

Michael Clarke versus Share Watson

Julia Gillard versus Kevin Rudd

My money would be on a Vettel victory, delivered by multiple low blows. As for the supporting bouts…well, who really cares about cricket and politics?

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